31 December 2011

Appearances: Worsening to Get Better

As I said in my last post, there has been a lot of improvements lately. That said, sometimes to get improvement, you have to go through what others see as *worsening*. This whole concept is hard to explain to people- hard to make them see the big picture.

The best example of this is taking place with Thane's coat right now. A lot of Thane's coat had changed color. His normal auburn red had become more rustic red. Though it was pretty and some, but not all could have been caused by sun and a natural product used for flea treatment, to complete the healing process restoring his natural color, that hair has to come out.

In theory it would be nice if this occurred in a slow manner: lose some, gain some, lose some more, gain some more. That's not really what is happening however. Not much had fallen out recently until after his bath and grooming. He held onto his hair through his bath but then grooming him was another story. It was hard for me to take at first, until someone told me he looked a bit darker today. That to me was a good thing to hear, but then at the same time there was the comments about how thin his coat was.

This is a superficial thing I know, but after the roller coaster ride I was on with Met for so many years with his coat which at the time seemed to be due to excessive veterinary intervention with his hypothyroidism (but could easily have been Lyme as well) it's just a real emotional thing for me to handle.

Its rather laughable that something like his coat would have me in this downer mood today. I mean when I look at everything we have come through in regards to his Lyme symptoms why on earth does his thin coat give me so much pause and angst?

I know that losing coat means that more *fuzzy bruises* will be on the horizon for us. When his coat hair is just beginning as this dark auburn root, it seems like bruises to me, but what it really is, is further healing along our road back from Lyme.

We are living with, working with, and watching Lyme recede. It has not been a great six months in terms of the partnership I dreamed we would have this year, but we are still together and he is still alive and fighting back. I've had moments (too many) where I wondered about the longevity of our partnership; wondered if fighting to stay together like this was the right call. Thankfully, it looks like the answer for us may be many more years of a redhead at my side. Honestly, I don't know how I would have coped with the other side of the coin, but should Thane have needed retirement, I would have done it because I will ALWAYS put his needs and welfare first in this partnership.

I gotta say though, despite how down I have been feeling about some of this the last couple days, his guiding us home in the pouring rain yesterday solidified that we are destined to work together- at least a little longer.

Now, lets get that coat to grow back- auburn, thick, and beautiful- huh?

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