02 August 2011

Sometimes it's Baby Steps

Thane and I are taking each day as it comes. There are days when it really is hard for me to swallow the path we are on- and others where I take it no different than I take my own chronic health needs- that is, one day at a time. Some days are the top floor while others tanked out or somewhere in between. I'm learning to really listen to Thane- to what he wants, needs, and even to when he feels alright but would just rather veg much like days I get myself from time to time.

Today was a vegging day. It was beautiful out again. It hit 81 in Portland today- probably a few degrees warmer here. I'm learning to let my frustration of not being able to have our adventures roll off me in much the way we would let a bad decision roll off. I'm taking advantage of the down times to catch up on regular laundry, working gear laundry that we have limited quantities of, sewing tasks like new braces, and even some work on my housing re-cert paperwork. All of this happens amidst *other play* (stuffies), *throwee* (balls thrown from the ball launcher), encouraging Thane to perform his indoor tasks, and just plain and simply enjoyment of the down time rather than always focusing on why it is that we are not out discovering some new niche in the world that is fun to explore.

Tomorrow is a toss up. A lot will depend upon what both of us are feeling like. Its a day that I hope can be spent with Thane at my side on an errand, but at the same time I am not fooling myself into believing that he will be the same dog at my side who was there that fateful day when he probably saved our lives a couple months ago. All in due time, I tell myself.

The more I learn about Lyme, the more I wish it was taken more seriously by vets everywhere. I wish at the very least, that vets brought the topic up with their clients (and yes in non-endemic areas too). Maybe through Thane's journey, I can educate others in my area enough that they will take pause to become aware of the symptoms that can point to a Lyme's diagnosis as opposed to just stress or allergies.

Maybe this is my new call. Perhaps I was meant to have a cause for each successor I have. I certainly hope that does not become reality however- believe me two causes are plenty in a lifetime (three if you count educating people about MCS).

I find myself putting our days on a point scale- you know that typical scale of one to ten. For our purposes, I'm going to call one the worst and ten the best. Today I consider a six despite Thane wanting to stay home. My criterion are much lower however than they were upon diagnosis due to how bad things actually got while Thane was on Doxy.

Today he chewed just slight itches for a moment, he did not have loose poop, and by days end he had ate all his food I planned for this day. He played and even got down right silly clown with his frib in the evening time. He took a nap while I sewed my new brace, entertained himself while I did a bit of scanning and only seemed to nap a normal amount as opposed to the excess one gets used to seeing with Lymes.

Tomorrow is its own new day. I may get up and discover that everything has been blown to smithereens with regards to my plans and how Thane is doing. If that is the case, I will adapt/ adjust to whatever changes I must make- because after all what is most important right now is not the assistance he can provide me on my errands, but whether or not he is capable of assisting me or not.

This is not the 100M dash at the Olympics, it is in the class of the pentathalon, marathon, Tour de France. There will be a time for celebrating one day, but today it is all about those baby steps of accomplishment. I see progress today and frankly that really is all that counts.

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